5:30 A.M. - December 14, 2008
It's been a long time
Wow! I can't believe this thing is still here. And I don't really know what made me think to check it. Maybe that it's 5:30 in the morning and I still haven't been to sleep yet and I'm bored as hell.
A lot has changed since the last time I wrote here. The biggest change is that my dad died. Esophageal cancer. 59 years old. My mom was 58 years old when she died from cancer...of basically everywhere in her body. I still think to this day that dad basically gave up the day my mom died and even if we had found out about his cancer right away, it wouldn't have made any difference. There is a stark contrast between their deaths though. My mom got diagnosed and 3 1/2 weeks later she was gone. Dad wasn't that lucky...he got diagnosed and died 9 months later. But he was sick long before that. I just couldn't get him to go to the doctor soon enough. He waited until he couldn't swallow food anymore. And I think he did that because he knew...and he wanted to be with her. The longer you wait, the less treatable it becomes. He knew.
I have a lot more shit to unload...but I think I am going to try to sleep for a little while. I'm kind of glad I found this thing again. I had kind of forgotten how good it feels to get rid of some baggage...and I just don't seem to pick up a piece of paper and pen...maybe I will start utilizing this again.
