3:25 P.M. - January 07, 2007
There ya go
Here it is, the beginning of a new year. Another year to suck complete and total ass. Yeee-fucking-haw!!!
I have really lost that positive attitude I used to have. I kept telling myself that things would get better. Things would get better with David after I got my head examined. I kept telling myself that things would get better after I got over him. I kept telling myself that my mom would feel better in time. I told myself that things would get better once we got finances in order. Nothing has gotten better. Nothing does get better. It either stays the same or it gets worse. Then you die. I guess that's the way the little ball bounces.
My Thanksgiving dinner was a bust. Cardboard has more flavor than that turkey of mine had. Christmas dinner was oodles better. I did a spiral cut ham, baked potatoes, asparagus, dinner rolls and fruit salad. That turned out perfect. It would have been perfect if mom was here.
Tomorrow is my dads birthday. I haven't a clue what to get him. It was the same for Christmas. Pretty much anything makes him cry now and that's hard for me.
I have had to take my mothers place as the pilar of strength for the family. I have to be strong for everyone else, but there isn't one solitary being that I can turn to. I can talk to Kim, but at the end of the day, after I brush my teeth and climb into bed, it's just me.
And life goes on. Big fucking whoopdeedingdong.
